Utopia Part II - Children & Family

In this second post about my Utopia, let's cover children and family.

First, Family. In Utopia, a family is people who love each other. Men, women, doesn't matter. Government stays out of the bedroom and focuses on macro-societal issues. Enough said.

Children: If you reproduce, you take full responsibility for that child. It is a straightforward idea that seems to escape many parents in today's society. By this I mean, you make sure they are tended to, fed, bathed, challenged, raised with the morals and ethics you deem appropriate - you take an active role in the development of your own child. If you choose to be a parent you are also choosing to be a role model, you lead by example and build a safe and comfortable life for your child.

Working: I am not advocating for a stay at home parent or working parents. Each family figures out what works for them. In our house, it works that I stay home. Some people are better parents because they do work. Stop judging other peoples' choices and do what is right for your household. No matter what work/home structure you choose - it is still the job of the parent to be involved in shaping the mind of a child.

If you work, it is up to you to provide safe care for your child. Find a center, an in-home care provider, a nanny or relative that will help you impart your values and shape the mind of your child during the hours you are away.

Needs: Children's needs supersede the needs of the parent, especially during the infant and toddler years. If you have a child, this is something you have already gotten your head around. Alone time may be minimal or non-existent, lazy mornings are a thing of the past. So what - enjoy this being that is with you for a short period of time. Soon enough that human will be away at college or doing something else and you will have a lot of alone time again.

Alone time:  everyone needs it! But, a child needs to know he or she is a priority for their parents. Staying out late every night partying like a college kid does not do right by your child. Regular time away from your child enjoying whatever activities you are passionate about sets a great example.

Safety: It is the job of a parent to provide a loving, safe home that fosters the growth of their children. In our current system, the rule of law is that the best spot for every child is with their biological parents. Even when there has been repeated abuse, neglect, or other such infringement on a child's well-being. In Utopia, a parent does not get a second chance (which often comes at the expense of the child in today's society). You abuse or neglect your child, you lose them. They are put up for adoption and are placed with a loving family in a timely manner. Your rights are over.

And that brings up foster systems. For a person to become a foster parent in Utopia, they need to prove they are not only capable, but want to, provide for a child. Foster parents in it for a paycheck are out. If you are a criminal, have a history of abusing others, abusing drugs, not being able to provide for the children you currently have - you do not get the right to be a foster parent. We set up a system where the rules in place to protect children actually protect them, not send them from one hell to another.

Parents are responsible to financially provide for their children. If you can't you should not reproduce. Harsh, maybe. Too harsh, no. People fall on hard times - illness, loss of job, etc... - but welfare (topic for another day) is not a perpetual state of handouts in Utopia and children should not be born to simply be a paycheck at the end of the month.

School: Kids are taught to be free critical thinkers. The notion that memorization is going to get them from point A to B is nonsense and in Utopia it doesn't exist. Schools (a topic for another post) focus on developing the ability to forge ideas, examine other ideas and theories, and draw conclusions.

Children in Utopia are seen as the next generation of amazing human beings.  In Utopia they are allowed to be kids, run, jump, explore, their curiosity is encouraged, those that excel in school are moved onto more challenging lessons, those that break rules are punished, those that lose a game - (gasp!) lose. Those that win, win.

This just touches on the topic of kids and family. My thoughts about how kids are raised and what is done within families has changed drastically since having our son. I am immensely more tolerant of parenting approaches and curious about choices. My heartfelt sympathies go to the parent of a screaming toddler. I get joy out of seeing parents loving being parents. Every child deserves a safe, positive environment and the systems in place within my Utopia provide the means to do that.