I don't share opinions on my blog very often. I try to keep it mostly cute pictures of what I believe to be the most adorable child in the world. However, this time I can't help myself. There is a vicious debate heating up the internet of late and I find myself getting enraged about the dynamic. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Another post to bring you up to speed:
http://momastery.com/blog/2012/01/21/friendly-fire/
I am a well educated stay-at-home mom with a dual degree from a top business school, along with two minors, a concentration and graduate work. I had a very well paying career where I regularly greatly outperformed the men in my office. I landed accounts others could not, earned six figures by my mid-twenties, bought my first house alone, the list goes on. I worked well into the evening hours, worked weekends, traveled as necessary, and effectively put work in front of all other relationships for many years.
I now stay home with my three year old son and our three dogs. I am busier now than ever, my days are highly unpredictable, I worry constantly if I am making the right choices to give my son the best advantages in life. I don't have a job description and I certainly don't have written annual objectives. The monetary pay sucks, and there is no leaving work at the office. However, I am more fulfilled and my son is one of the happiest, most carefree children I have ever seen.
That being said, I know many "working" moms who would hate staying home and many stay-at-home moms who would hate "working". I am using quotes because being a stay-at-home mom is work, just not in the way American society legitimizes it.
What I have a huge problem with is the judgment and cattiness of women upon other women. Women's liberation was not to force women to work. Women's liberation was not meant for us to go from one set of rules that limited our choices to another set of rules that limits our choices in another way. It was meant to free us to have a choice - if we want to work we can, if we want to be home we can. The point of liberation is to open choices, not force everyone to take one path.
The argument that says that stay-at-home moms are wasting college education is baffling and more than somewhat irritating to me. I never signed a contract when I entered college that said "I vow to use this degree in this fashion for the balance of my life". College is meant to teach us how to think, how to evaluate information, how to interact with the world, how to make an impact. These skills are used day in and day out when raising children. I would not be the same mother I am today without having gone to college, and am pretty confident I use my college honed thinking skills day in and day out more being an at home mom to a three year old with an inquiring mind than I did in an office setting. I find the college educated individual who chooses to live off the system and do not contribute anything to society to be wasting a college degree. A stay-at-home mom who is raising the next generation is not wasting an education.
This cattiness goes beyond the work or stay home choice. Women are judgmental and catty about many decisions other women make and it has to stop. As mothers we are all working to raise young minds. If everyone were exactly the same the world would be an amazingly boring place. How about hanging up the boxing gloves, it is time we all understand that everyone needs to make the choice that is best for themselves and their family. There is not a right choice or a wrong choice, only the choice that is best for you. I don't judge the choices of others and I want to be in a society, and raise my son in a society, where I am given the same courtesy by other mothers.
